Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Some Say I'm a Dreamer...

We are waiting patiently here in Los Altos and I realize I have not been a very diligent updater. I have an appointment with the tx team tomorrow and I will give a full report on my health status after I meet with them. It's been a rough few weeks but I feel like I am at least holding my own right now so that is encouraging.

For now, I just wanted to share something a little different. I have never recorded my dreams before and I usually can't remember anything about my dreams once I wake up no matter how much I want to recall them. I had a very vivid dream last week and it has stayed with me all week. In fact, I have thought of it every day since.

Dreaming about Lexi is a gift. It doesn't happen often, maybe a few times a year (that I'm aware of), but when I wake up and realize I've dreamed about Lex, I immediately try to fall back asleep into that same dream so I can see her again. It never works!  Last week when Lexi was with me in my dream, I woke up and found to my surprise, I could remember every detail about the dream. I don't think it is a coincidence, I think I am supposed to remember this dream...especially as I am being wheeled into the operating room.

I was on an operating table, all prepped and ready to be transplanted. The room was big, light and spacious. Derek Shepherd and Meredith Grey may or may not have been there but Lexi definitely was. She was not only there, she was laying on the operating table with me. She was holding my hand and we were both calm and comfortable. As the surgeons started explaining the procedure to me; how they were going to put me to sleep and then make the incision etc. etc., I asked them where my sister was going to be as they were operating. They looked at me and said so definitively, "Oh, she's going to stay right there on the bed with you."

I thought this was a very unorthodox allowance and questioned if it was a good idea.  In my dream, I didn't get the message because it was so real. But, when I woke up, I was struck with the significance and was grateful once again for the reassurance I am constantly receiving.

8 comments:

Ben + Amanda said...

Wow! Thank you for sharing. I am a friend of the snarrs and my little brother has CF. That story is incredible. You are incredible.

Emilee said...

Beautiful! Such an amazing gift.

Freddy and Mandy said...

So sweet Shar :)

Jennifer said...

Beautiful Dream. I know she will be right there with you as I know Justin was there with me. Thanks for sharing. I am think about you everyday!

Inhaling Hope said...

Absolutely beautiful!

The Larsen Family said...

Thank you for sharing that with us Shar. I have no doubt that your sweet sister is always watching over you and i love that you can always feel her presence. Love, love, love.

karla@ bluegrass jewelry designs said...

Praying for you.

mom said...

Sharlie,
I love you and keep you in my prayers every moment of the day! Get well!

XO,
Syndea