Year in Review...Photo Journal Style!

Here is my annual New Year's post that is way too long with way too many pictures! One of the things I love doing at the beginning of a New Year is reflecting on the past year.  I like to think about the lessons I learned, the relationships that were created or strengthened, the successes and setbacks, the moments of strength and inspiration and all the ways my family and I were blessed. This year reflecting on those blessings was overwhelming...we were so blessed in 2011 and have so much to be thankful for.

It is especially fun for me to go through my pictures and remember some of my favorite moments.
Here are some of our favorite 2011 memories:

January -- Harrison started a new school and a new Pee Wee sports class with his best friend Thomas! Also, one of my favorite days of January was spent at La Jolla Cove watching Harrison ride around on his new scooter! It was one of those perfect San Diego Days. Ryan also started his MBA program this month!!

February --  We  celebrated Harrison's 4th birthday with a rally race at the park! He was thrilled with his new "Ken Block" clothes. Also, Ryan traveled with all of his classmates to be on Price is Right, it was so fun to watch them on T.V.! I also spent time in the hospital this month and was on home I.V.'s for several weeks. Ryan, as always was my rock... just look at how good he is at changing my PICC dressing!

 

 

March -- Harrison finished his Pee Wee sports class and got his first trophy...it was kinda a big deal : )

April -- What a fun month! Harrison and I went to visited Palm Springs with my mom. It was a perfect week of playing in the pool and relaxing! Ryan also surprised me with Brandon Flowers tickets and we saw him at the House of Blues in San Diego. We saw him in L.A. too but the House of Blues is such a cool, intimate venue and it was an awesome show! At the end of April my mom and I road tripped it to Utah for my cousin's wedding. It was so special to be there!

 

 

 

May -- Another super fun month. Harrison and I spent another week with Grandma Coco in Las Vegas and she treated us to the BEATLES LOVE show! Harrison loves the Beatles and he was absolutely mesmerized! I finished the month off with the funnest girls night out ever... it was a SLEEPOVER! Several of my high school girl friends met up in L.A. and spent the night at Suedy's new home. Just like in high school, we stayed up pretty much all night talking and laughing!

June -- June was a tough month. I was in the hospital most of the month. Chelsea flew out to be with me and I will never forget how wonderful it was to have her there with me. She was a huge support to me and a huge help with Harrison. Linda was also amazing and was pretty much Harrison's second mom for the month! Here we are cuddled on my hospital bed, I love these boys so much!!

July -- July was recovery month and my darling cousins came to help me with Harrison! They were so fun to have in our home and such a gigantic help! It was definitely hard to let them go! We were also able to squeeze in swimming lessons for Harrison and travel to L.A. to see Ken Block and his new rally car!!! Harrison was in heaven!

 

August -- August was kind of a roller coaster month that started with my Double Lung transplant evaluation at Stanford. My mom was with me through the whole thing and I could never have done it without her.  We came home to meet Cam and Chels and their family and they filled August with joy and laughter!! We made some amazing family memories, including Drexel's blessing!

September -- After being accepted by Stanford for a Heart and Double Lung transplant, our family made the move to Los Altos. We needed to be near Stanford hospital to become active on the list. My mom put her life on hold and made the move with us. We are so blessed to have her! This picture was taken right outside our rental home. It is so beautiful here. A few of Ryan's wonderful classmates came to visit and Suedy also made her first trip here in September!

October -- I spent a few days in the hospital in October and was pretty weak for most of the month but we had a blast taking Harrison trick or treating on our cute street! We also got a special visit from Zak, it was so good to spend a few days with him and have his spirit in our home.

 

November -- November was a special month. I felt strong and was able to see almost all the family. Chels came and spent several days with us and we had some great mother-daughter time and then the rest of the family was here for Thanksgiving and it was so fun to have them all here. I could not have been more grateful for their presence on that special holiday! The Air Supply Event also took place in November and it is a day I will never forget. Even thought I was not able to travel to San Diego for it, I felt the love and support so powerfully. Ryan flew down to be there and filled me in on all the amazing details. Here is a beautiful highlight video put together by Benny Ek from the event.

Air Supply - "Filling Lungs with Love" Event Highlights from Benny Ek on Vimeo.

December --December was such a fun month, celebrating the holidays in a new place was fresh and fun. We really tried to get out and explore this area and take advantage of all the fun holiday activities. The best gifts we got were our loved ones! Ric spent a lot of time here and Grammy and Grandpa were here in the beginning of December and then back at Christmas! Two times in one month was such a treat! It was also so much fun to have Suedy and Alfonso here!! The pictures are from December are on my last post but I'll put one of my favorites here of me and my sweet boy that didn't get included in the last post:

Congratulations if you made it to the end of this post! Looking back on 2011 and seeing these pictures makes me so happy. I truly love my life and am so grateful for the experiences I'm having. I feel like even though we faced some tough challenges this year, we didn't let those challenges prevent us from really living and enjoying our lives. Actually, the challenges we faced this year made the precious moments even more precious and brought our families and our friends together in such a special way. Here's to 2011 and looking forward with hope and faith for an amazing 2012! Blessings!

The Mother of all Updates...

Not to be confused with "the mother of all hot wheels tracks" which is the current internet video that is requested daily from Harrison!

Well we've been here about two months now and it has been a full two months! We have tried to make life here as normal as possible and we have a pretty good routine. We obviously miss home dearly but are doing our best to make this waiting time an "adventure!"

Los Altos is a charming community and we are within walking distance of the library and the adorable, quaint town center with yummy restaurants and cute boutiques.  My brother Dax described the beauty of this place better than I could. He wrote about his time here on his blog. He traveled here to help us move in and as much as I appreciated his help lifting heavy boxes, setting up our computers, setting up my treadmill, and making yummy meals for us, I appreciated even more his calming brotherly presence. That presence, with his gentle shoulder squeezes and his ability to make me laugh, started our time here in the right spirit.

When we first got here, I was just off a "tune-up" (otherwise known as a three week stay in the hospital), so I was feeling relatively good. My lungs felt clear and I had a refreshing energy which was I'm sure part due to the fact that we had taken this step towards transplant and the burden of "not knowing" had lifted. 

I met with my surgeons and also met the CF team here for the first time. I was encouraged by my meeting with the surgeons who would be preforming my transplant. They were very professional, yet down-to-earth. They answered all of my questions without making me feel rushed. Ryan recorded most of our conversation and I will summarize my questions and their answers in a separate post. The bottom line is that I felt very comfortable with them and had that reaffirming "good, peaceful" feeling while talking to them. Despite that good feeling, after talking to them, the reality of everything hit me very strong, and I couldn't help crying the whole way home.  Ryan just held my hand and let me cry. I knew he understood.  When I got home my mom hugged me and said something to this effect, "crying doesn't mean you're weak or afraid, it just means you are letting yourself feel this experience." It was comforting because I didn't know exactly why I was crying after having a good, positive appointment and I realized I was just allowing myself to "feel" the enormity of the situation without letting go of the peace and hope that is so prevalent.

These last few weeks have been a little bit rough as I got a cold that started out as a sore throat and quickly turned into fevers and congestion. Unfortunately, I am resistant to any oral antibiotics that could help and I couldn't bear the thought of going back in the hospital so I just tried to deal with it on my own by upping my treatment schedule, getting lots of rest and increasing my supplements. When the CF clinic found out I hadn't called them as soon as I started getting sick, they were NOT happy. They scheduled an appointment and then admitted me once they saw me. I am used to going into the hospital on my own terms and I felt like they were putting me in because they didn't trust me so it was very hard.

Being in a new hospital with new doctors and nurses who didn't know me was discombobulating and my physical and emotional well being spiraled downhill quickly. I wasn't sleeping well or eating well and the miscommunication was frustrating to say the least. After two days of being physically exhausted and emotionally overwhelmed, I did something I've never done. I asked my doctor to let me go home. There had been a failed PICC line attempt so I still just had a peripheral I.V.. I told him that I thought they had jumped the gun on admitting me and begged for a week to prove that I could get better on my own without committing to three to four weeks of I.V.'s plus more hospital time. He let me go on the condition that I would come in if there was any decline and that I would come to clinic in a week so he could reassess the situation.  It was such a VICTORY! I continued what I had started at home before they put me in and although I am not back to baseline, I am gaining strength every day and am so glad to be home healing with my family.

That follow up appointment took place on Friday and although I was a little nervous they would think I hadn't improved enough, I felt confident in the progress I had made. Fortunately, they could also see the improvement and didn't feel I needed to be readmitted. What a relief!! I am a very compliant patient and need to work on being assertive and advocating for myself, so this was a very good lesson for me. I knew what my body needed and even though it was challenging for me to voice it to my doctor, he listened and trusted me in the end. I know that experience was good for my confidence in communicating with my doctors and will serve me in my future encounters with them.

I am so grateful for the prayers that have continued in my behalf and am certain that they played a big part in me being able to endure these past few weeks and get home from the hospital quickly.  I am so so grateful for your love, support and prayers always!

Happy Halloween!

Day 16...that's day 16 in the hospital. Nurses beware!

Believe me, I've had a few good cries here and I could tell you all about how C.F. sucks, but I'm not going to.

Instead I'd rather tell you about the moments in here that made me laugh, made me happy and gave me hope.

Whenever I get admitted, I can count on adorable notes and pictures from my nieces and nephews to cheer up my hospital walls. This time around, Sophie's note just cracked me up! My favorite lines were, "I think it's SO cool that you are so brave. I would never be able to survive with all the blood that you've seen. And, I can't believe how many things you've been through in the hospital and out! It's SO cool. You bewilder me."

Another thing I can count on is amazing support from my family. They completely rally around me and reassure me that I am not alone in this. My big sister Chelsea who I wrote about a few posts ago, arranged to fly here from Maryland the very hour she learned Ryan was taking me to the E.R.


She has four kids at home and is such a busy mom, I tried to tell her that I would be fine but she insisted on coming. I would have never asked her to leave her family but when all was said and done, I don't how I would have survived that week without her. My mom was in Israel and Ryan needed to be home with Harrison and Chelsea was just there for me when I needed her most. Ryan's parents, Zak and his family, Dax and his family and Suedy were also there for me in such a huge way; calling, visiting, bringing food (including my favorite delicious persian food) and helping with Harrison. Being with my family makes me happy so even though it's hard to be stuck in the hospital, I treasure the time I get to be with my family wherever we are!

Another thing that makes me absolutely swell with joy is being with Harrison. When I am in the hospital, nothing brightens my mood more than a visit from my sweet boy. I always hear his giggles from all the way down the hall and I get so excited to see and hold him. Cuddling with him on my bed (even if he is pushing all the buttons and basically folding me and the bed in half) makes me so happy and motivates me to stay hopeful and keep fighting!

Ryan snapped these "instagrams" on his phone.

Watching cool videos on the computer

Lazy Sunday. Harrison is nestled into my legs while I take a little nap!

The last thing I'll mention is something that brings me hope and makes me so grateful. That is the outpouring of love and support I feel from my extended family and my friends. The messages of encouragement, concern, love and promises of prayers on my behalf are not taken lightly. I am so grateful for every prayer and every positive healing thought sent my way. They are like fresh sips of air that help lift the heavy burden off my chest. They renew my faith, strengthen my confidence and bring me joy. They cause me to again marvel at all the angels I am surrounded by and leave me with soaring gratitude in my heart instead of worry or fear.

I just learned I am going home today and despite the rough few weeks I've experienced, I am leaving feeling very blessed!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Day 10...A post from Sanoviv!

When I started this 30 day challenge, I wasn't expecting to be out of town so much this month. Both trips have really helped facilitate healing and I am feeling stronger than I have since I got sick in February. This time I am at Sanoviv for just a few days of intense natural I.V. therapy, oxygen therapy, glutathione injections, bio-energetic treatments, therapeutic spa treatments, meditation and healing food.

I will resume the 30 day challenge next week when I am home.

Every time I leave Sanoviv, I try to go home and implement at least one thing I learned or practiced here, be it meditation techniques, dry brushing, juicing vegetables, jumping on a rebounder, or eliminating certain things from my diet. The first time I visited Sanoviv, I wanted to go home and incorporate everything they were doing here and it got completely overwhelming. Now I feel good if I can just do one more thing that I know will be beneficial for my health every time I leave.

Today instead of doing a Healthy Home tip, I thought I would leave you with a Healthy "Sanoviv" tip.

At Sanoviv we start each morning with the juice of half a lemon in a cup of lukewarm water.

"Lemon can stimulate and aid elimination in digestion and helps to destroy putrefactive bacteria in both the intestines and the mouth- it is used to purify the breath. Its antiseptic, anti-microbial, and mucous-resolving action make it useful during diarrhea, colds, flu, coughs, and parasite infestations. It benefits the liver, encouraging the formation of bile; improves absorption of minerals; promotes weight loss; cleanses the blood; improves blood pressure and helps weak blood vessels. Lemon increases the production of fluids in the body and is often used for calming the nerves, treating sore throats, cramps, and diabetes."

Try starting your day with a cup of lemon water and see if you can feel any benefits! Happy healthy living!!












- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

There's no place like Home...

There's nothing like a stay in the hospital to help one appreciate their family and the sweet comforts of home. I was hoping to avoid the hospital scene this winter but last Friday night Ryan and I found ourselves in the ER. I caught an aggressive bug and tried to convince myself I could fight it with lots of rest at home but when my lungs started bleeding...I threw in the towel.

I don't go to the ER very often. I kind of have a routine down when it's time for a "tune-up." I call the clinic and they call me when there's a bed ready for me at the hospital and I go right in, we've got it down to a science by now. However, this time there were no beds available so we were told that unless I could wait a few days, I needed to get to the ER. Unfortunately, I couldn't wait so there we were heading to the E.R. It was kind of an adventure...

As I looked around the little semi-clean ER waiting room, I thought to myself, "Ryan and I are the only normal ones here." That sounds so judgmental but have you ever been surrounded in a room and realized that you are the only normal one? Maybe in the airport, a mall, the Del Mar Fair, or at an arcade? Anyway, I'm sure I didn't look normal to the others waiting as I walked in pulling my green oxygen tank in my pajamas with a mask over my mouth. As we waited, I was fully concentrating on literally not coughing up my remaining functioning lung while I nervously tapped my foot on the floor. The intense concentrating was wearing down my nerves as was my paranoia about the germs that must be lurking in an ER waiting room. Meanwhile, waiting gave Ryan a good opportunity to play with his new iPhone but I could tell he was distracted and after a while I realized he was anticipating.

Anticipating what? Well, as "Grey's" fans, I think he was just waiting for someone to run into the ER with a pencil in their eye or a missing appendage! I couldn't help rolling my eyes as he excitedly asked my radioloy technician, "So, what's the craziest thing you've seen in here?!" He asked my nurse the same thing and both of them were like, "um... this is kind of a small hospital, we don't see a lot of crazy things here." I think the whole ordeal was a big "rain on Ryan's ER fantasies parade." Just as we were about to leave, (my paranoia was getting the better of me) we got called into the back and once back there I got the best of care. The doctors and nurses were so great and extremely efficient. In no time an R.T. (respitory therapist) was pounding on me and my I.V. was in and running.

The hardest part about being in the hospital this time around was of course, being away from Harrison. Ryan brought him to see me every day and he charmed all the doctors and nurses as we walked the halls. Although it was very hard to be separated from my little baby, I was so grateful to my mom and mom and dad Kaltenbach for taking such good care of him. It was such a blessing to know that he was being loved and nurtured by those who love him while his mom was getting better. It was a relief to not have to worry about whether he was happy and getting enough attention!

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from the hospital stay... He loved the moving bed, the remote and walks with mom in the wheelchair : )







I am now home on I.V.'s and Harrison is such a good little helper nurse. He likes to hold onto my vibrating vest and bring me my I.V. meds with daddy. He also loves to chew on my oxygen tubing! One thing for sure is that he is a great healer. Just being home with him has given me the strength I needed to turn the corner. He makes me so happy and we are constantly giggling at him. Joy, laughter and Love are the strongest medicines I know of and I am looking forward to being good as new really soon!