My eyes are swollen and my heart is aching from another loss. It is the reality of this disease, one of the hardest to bare. We lose people; family members, precious friends...too often. We never get used to it and it doesn't get easier. We don't become immune to the pain or desensitized. It is a fresh wound every time that brings up doubts, fears, and emotions that are physically exhausting to process and deal with. I feel weary.
Despite the weariness that comes sometimes, I would not trade knowing these earth angels for anything...even not having C.F. I have always said that C.F. has blessed my life in so many ways and the precious relationships and bonds I've formed not only with Lexi but with many fellow CFers are some of the greatest blessings of my life.
I'm not sure how it happens, how you can form such a strong bond and such a deep love for someone you have never even met but I truly loved Emily and felt so connected to her. It sounds cliche to say she never complained but honestly, I never read a blog post that didn't end with a scripture verse and beautiful praise to her Savior. She was one of the most faithful people I have ever met and was an amazing example to me of trusting in the Lord and learning from our trials.
She was a courageous mother and was a huge strength to me as I was pregnant myself. She was such an inspiration to me and seeing her with her beautiful daughter Faith filled me with hope. One thing I know for sure is that Faith will have a guardian angel right by her side for the rest of her life. I know that Emily will never be far from her and will bless Faith's life with her presence.
Emily, I know you are free now and breathing easy. How glorious for you to be reunited with the Savior you loved and worshiped with unwavering strength and faith. I will hold you in my heart and will in your honor, strive every day to be a better mother, to have more faith, to not take one breath for granted and to do everything in my power to bless others and spread joy as you did.
I looked forward to the day that we would finally meet and now I know that reunion will not be in this life but in the next. It will be a sweet embrace. Breathe Easy Dear Friend and give Lexi a hug for me!