Believe it or Not...

I did something "crafty!"

I started a tradition on Harrison's 1st Birthday that I think we will keep up because I have loved doing it so much. I wanted Harrison to give his Grandparents something special on his birthday that would help them remember the year and be a token of appreciation for all they do for him throughout the year. On his 1st birthday he presented them iPhoto books with some of our favorite pictures of the year, especially pictures with him and them. They turned out so beautiful and although it was hard to part with them, Grammy and Grandpa K and Grandma Coco loved them!!

This year I was inspired by my sweet friend Jayma to make them calendars. Since his birthday is in February, the calendars began with February and go through to January 2010. For my mom's calendar, I decided to include pictures with All her grandkids!

Here are pictures of the pages for my mom's:














For Grammy and Grandpa K's calendar, I chose a few of my favorite pictures from each month from the year before. Here are those pages:














I also made a calendar for Sanam for her birthday but forgot to take pictures of it before I gave it to her : ) I had so much fun making these and adored how they turned out. They were truly labors of love! Picking the photos, organizing them and designing the pages was so much harder and more time consuming than I thought it would be but in the end, it was worth it! I could not have done it without Jayma who helped me prep the calendars, embellish them and stamp them. Thank you Jayma!! Check out her sight that is linked above to see her darling creations.

30 Rocks!!

Wow! What a special birthday...the PERFECT birthday!! This was a real milestone for me and the significance of it was humbling. I have fought to be here and it felt liberating to know that I am really beating the odds and hope and pray to continue to beat those odds!!

The day started with 30 gorgeous roses from Ryan...


Then, thanks to Grammy K. who took Harrison for the day, Ryan and I were able to head up north to Glen Ivy Hot Springs for a relaxing day of rest, sun, mud, amazing food and thanks to mom, a luxurious couples massage! It was truly heavenly and the best gift I could have asked for!


Then Ryan took me to my favorite restaurant in the Gaslamp for Persian Food. It was a delightful dining experience as we savored the flavors of our most desired food while we dreamed about the next 30 years!


To top the day off, we enjoyed our nightly bowl of sherbet while we watched the Office : ) Poor Michael Scott... I wonder how this new situation is going to play out!


Like I said, the perfect birthday! I am so excited for this next year and am expecting it to be the best year yet!

Still Making Strides!

Visit my NEW GREAT STRIDES WEBPAGE!!

GREAT STRIDES is the largest national fund-raising event for Cystic Fibrosis and I am personally so grateful for this event and for the funds that have been raised by it. They have directly impacted my life because 90 cents of every dollar raised goes toward vital CF research and programs to improve the quality of life for me and others with CF. Our family has supported Great Strides for years and I plan on continuing to be involved until a cure is found!!

The thing that I love about Great Strides is how easy it is for everyone to be involved. It is really about getting A LOT of people to do A LITTLE (or a lot!!) Robert Beall,PH.D. who is the President of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation said, "In our quest to find new treatments and a cure for CF, there is no such thing as doing enough or doing it fast enough."

As a mom, and an aunt to a nephew and niece who also have CF, I feel this urgency every day of my life. I realize all of us with this disease are in a race against the clock that ticks too loudly sometimes and although I strive to find peace in faith and trust, I get scared sometimes and pray everyday for the scientists to find THE CURE!

Please visit my GREAT STRIDES WEBPAGE to read some of my story and to give just a little (or a lot!!)

Belated Birthday Photos!

I finally uploaded Harrison's birthday celebration photos and wanted to share a few of my favorites!

Birthday Night at Grandma Cocos:








Birthday Night and Grammy and Grandpa K's:









Despite all that was going on during Harrison's birthday, he was properly celebrated and spoiled : ) At two, Harrison loves to be independent and his language is exploding! He surprises us everyday with things he will say that we had no idea he knew how to say. Anything with wheels makes him so happy and he currently is delighted beyond description by the movie CARS! He loves to be outdoors and is a great eater! Most of all he is a happy boy and makes his momma and daddy ache with love for him!

Birthday Post!

A Lesson Learned

Sweet Lexi,

This is a unique anniversary. You were here on this earth for fourteen years and now today, you've been gone for fourteen years. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you but on this day, March 5th, the events that transpired on the day of your death inevitably play out in my mind and all at the same time it is a very difficult day and a day of celebration. The hard memories are there but even more, the fun and goofy, the sweet and tender memories are there and they kind of balance each other out creating a paradox. Sometimes the memories open the wound and sometimes the memories are a salve for the wound.

As I reflected on some of those memories this week, I remembered a valuable lesson I learned from you. It was a painful lesson to learn but it has impacted my life possibly more than any other experience I had with you. I was an insecure high school student and I hated it when mom was late picking me up from school because I felt like a loner waiting on the grass with no one to hang out with. One day she was especially late and when she pulled up and I saw that you were in the car with her, I was frustrated because I knew that you had delayed her. It was definitely a process to get you out of the house, especially with your wheelchair. I knew if she would have left you at home she would have been on time and I said something to that effect when I got in the car.

Oh Lex, I know you know how many tears I have shed over this incident. It is the most painful regret I have. The insensitivity, the selfishness and the lack of perspective I had still just make me so angry with myself. You were quiet on the way home and later slipped a note under my bedroom door apologizing for making mom late and explaining how everyday you missed me while I was at school and how you counted the minutes until I would return home and be with you. You said you would beg mom to take you with her because you couldn't wait to see me and you needed the fresh air. You expressed your love for me and I had never been so humbled in my life. I was so so ashamed and hot tears rolled down my cheeks as my heart thudded in my tightening chest. It was physically painful to realize what I had done and how I had hurt you.

I know you forgave me that night as I begged for your forgiveness and hugged you while I cried. We talked everything out but I STILL have not forgiven myself for that and as much as I have suffered over my mistake that day, I am so grateful for the lessons it taught me. The most poignant lesson I learned and have INTERNALIZED is to never take my loved ones for granted. Lexi, I would give ANYTHING to have that moment back. I would give anything to have mom pull up in her car with you in the front seat...I would run and throw the door open and tell you how much I had missed you all day. I would hug you and not let go, I would look into your eyes and smell your hair and tell you, "I LOVE YOU so much."

I'm comforted now by the knowledge that I WILL have that moment again. I will see you again and until then, I promise the hurt you felt that day will not be in vain because you taught me to always have an eternal perspective. And with that gift I will treasure and appreciate all the precious moments, as momentous or mundane as they may be, with the people in my life.

I miss you Lex. I am grateful for the fourteen years I got to be your big sister and I'm grateful for the fourteen years that you have been my angel. Thank you for the lessons.

Love, shezbo

The State of the Health Address...

I started this blog more of a personal on-line journal and a way for my family to keep up with Harrison. However, during the process, I have made so many wonderful friends and I know some of you check in here to see how my health is so here is a quick health update for those who have been so kind to inquire.

If you were confused by my last few posts where in one I thought I had turned the corner and was able to avoid going into the hospital and then in the next I had just been discharged and was still struggling, you are not the only one...I WAS CONFUSED TOO!! It started as a mild cold which progressed into a lot of congestion and was persistent despite all the "stuff" I was doing to get over it on my own. Since it had been so long since my last tune-up my Doctor thought it was best I start on I.V.'s but I was able to do them at home and was thrilled. I started feeling better and my lungs were clearing up. I thought I had turned the corner when all of the sudden I spiked some high fevers and started having severe body aches, shivers, etc. etc. I was afraid I had caught the flu or that I was reacting to the antibiotics so my Doctor told me to go to the E.R. BUMMER!

I was admitted at Thornton hospital and they changed up all my antibiotics and ruled out the flu and sent me home a few days later to finish up my I.V.'s. I was so happy to be able to be out for Harrison's birthday but I was still really struggling and seemed to even be getting weaker. I was running home I.V.'s four hours a day and doing lots of other treatments and pretty much sleeping the rest of the time. I was getting so discouraged because after all the I.V.'s AND a hospital stay, I was expecting to feel much better. Finally after three weeks of I.V.'s I told my Doctor I was DONE and made them pull my I.V. right there at clinic!! I just felt my body had been through the ringer and was overloaded with such strong drugs and needed a break! (I also needed a long bath WITHOUT a bag on my arm!) So, my Doctor reluctantly agreed after my pleas for him to trust me and let me pull it!

Now I am feeling stronger every day! I am flushing my system with USANA and am on the best probiotics and systemic enzymes and am definitely on the right track! Thank you so much for all your prayers and healing thoughts. At this point, I should not be surprised at the way your love and support buoys me and affects my progress but it seriously makes such a difference and I am so grateful everyday for that blessing!

My Baby turned TWO!

Thanks to Cheryl for the portraits!

On Thursday, Feb. 12th, we celebrated Harrison's 2nd Birthday! I was able to be discharged from the hospital just in time and felt truly blessed it turned out that way. Ryan picked me up from Thornton Hospital and we went and picked up Harrison's present (a TRICYCLE!) and then went to Grandma Coco's for dinner and cupcakes. Grammy and Grandpa were there too so it was a perfect evening and Harrison was happy to have his momma home and reveled in all the attention from his Grandparents! I will post pictures of the little party later because I don't have the photos downloaded yet.

I wanted to get this post up on Harrison's actual birthday but with everything going on it was tough. However, it is appropriate to post this today, on Valentine's Day, because Harrison is the love of my life and the two years that we've had him here with us have absolutely been the best two years of our lives! We have not taken ONE DAY with him for granted and truly cherish every moment.

Happy Birthday Angel!